I don't know when I put it on but it became very clear recently, I need to take off my superwoman cape. I was trying to keep a spotless sparkling house while being the involved creative mom. I was trying to be the yes friend who never said no. The super fit and healthy mom, who made all the crazy healthy foods for dinner. I was trying to be the energetic, understanding, fun, loving wife who kept all stress away from her husband. I was trying to do my job and not ask for help. I was trying to get up everyday and do everything when not everything needs to be done everyday. I was trying to be the amazing "how does she do it" wife/mom/friend etc... It did not work! I ended up having no energy, being super tired, aching feet and even getting dizzy. I ended up feeling miserable, grumpy and warn out. Anxiety was taking over.
SO, you might be thinking, What did you do?
I hung up my cape! Super woman is amazing, but She is not me!
I am learning that it is OK if my house is messy. It hurts in side a little when others enter it and it's not in good shape, but I have kids. Having kids means there's a mess. The more kids- the more mess. And I have decided that if you can walk and hold something, you can pick up your own toys and clean up your own messes (for the most part). This has created a battle between me and my girls trying to get them to clean up but it it doesn't get doesn't get done I no longer come to their rescue and clean up for them. The mess gets left for them. I do still try to have a clean kitchen before I go to bed just to start off the morning right the next day but letting the rest of the house go has been hard (yet good) for me.
I am learning that it is OK to have the TV on so that I can get things done. Every now and then I do still have to clean the house, but it usually comes with having to have a movie day (yes a whole day...yikes I feel the judgment all ready). Putting on PBS kids or Mickey mouse club house or some other kids movie (mostly educational...(ha yeah Felt the need to add that in)) so I can sweep and mop my floors, clean my bathrooms, vacuum, dust, pick up clutter, organize or maybe take a nap! lets face it; a nap some times helps my mood when after a day of clean my house fails; they take a whole 5 minutes to undo my day's work.
I am learning that it is OK if frozen pizza or chicken nuggets are on the menu more than once a week. My kids are getting fed and we are able to enjoy a nice dinner without the complaining more often. Not to mention the time saver that they are. Some times spending the time reading to the girls, coloring with them or simply listening to Morgan's day (and she talks a lot!) without being busy is more important than a complex healthy meal. ... I add in carrot sticks or fruit cups! Some times I even add in fresh fruit.
I am learning that it is OK to drop my kids off a the drop in center at the YMCA for more than just the work out. Some days I just sit in the locker room and play games on my phone for a while to try and regain my sanity before I pick them up. They like it down there and I am a happier more attentive mom when I pick them up. The times when I do pick them up right away I usually get the "can I keep playing please? I don't want to go home." anyway so why not let them enjoy their friends a little longer.
I am learning that it is OK to pick up the phone and call someone when I feel overwhelmed. Some times a simple phone call to a friend or my mom makes all the difference. Being vulnerable with those who are close to us can be so refreshing and freeing! And some times when the venting is over you realize just how silly the whole thing was anyway and move on. Much better than keeping it all inside.
I'm learning that it's OK to Complain to my husband. Now that's not complain about my husband... BIG difference. But he actually understand when I open up to him and talk about the struggles of being home with the girls and dealing with their schedules, wants, and needs. Who understands better than him, after being left alone with all 3 girls for 2 hrs. he usually asks me how I manage to get through the week. My answer, "I have no idea. somehow Saturday always gets here"
I'm learning that it's OK to have others help with rides, drop offs and pick ups. I am not a bad mom if I do not pick up or drop off my daughter every single day of school. I am not a bad mom if I don't drive Morgan to ballet and sit around and wait for an hr. to drive her home. The door is closed anyway, can't see a thing. I'm sure my other two girls think I'm a much better mom if I take up my friends offer to take Morgan and I stay home where they can play and be free instead of being bored outside the ballet studio. (yup still justifying that one in my head)
I'm learning that it is OK to sit here and write this blog to decompress while the girls nap instead of trying to check off something from my to do list. Even if the laundry is sitting in the machine waiting for me to move it to the dryer. Not a lot of people read this blog, but writing it makes me feel happy.
So, good bye superwoman cape, maybe I'll borrow you for Halloween, but till then I think I'll just be me. The best Me I know how to be, mistakes, messy house, and all.
AM: got out of bed around 9am made a yummy hot breakfast.