One might say I'm fighting against, dirt and germs, others might add in clutter, or my kids. But really, I'm fighting against myself in order to maintain my sanity. What am I learning through this war against a messy house? well...
First I am learning that toddlers are not helpful!
As a "good parent" I try to give my kids chores to do. Well first I find at a certain age they love it. Helping mom is the best thing ever. However, when they help, say clear the table, things get spilled, dishes get broken, bigger mess occurs. They help clean up said mess and it just gets smeared all over, smashed into the carpet, "good towel's ruined (why have a good towel? not smart!), and usually tears start flowing. (not always the kids mind you.)The good parenting thing to do would be to ever so patiently walk them through the steps and teach them how to do things without getting upset or angry. One should maintain calm and always be encouraging. Oh if only I could do all that! I tend to loose my cool. Like when my 1 yr old unrolled an entire new roll of toilet paper all over the just cleaned bathroom and my 3 yr old tries to help clean it up by shoving it all in the toilet. Needless to say I did not exactly handle it with grace and compassion.
Second I'm learning that Older kids are helpful...though you will hear about it.
Again I still give chores even after the toddler battle I don't give up. Morgan age 6, has the job to empty the dish washer.
scenario: "Morgan the dish washer needs to be unloaded."
Morgan, "NO!!!!WAAAA!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?!?!?!"
followed by her stomping to dishwasher and taking about an hr to empty it, making sure almost every piece of silverware hits the floor, and well... ok so I want people to keep coming to my house, so I'll stop there.
Yeah they can be helpful but at what cost? The good parent calmly teaches them that this behavior is not acceptable and ever so gently walks them through the process. Yeah, I walk out of the room and pray that germs really can't kill me. Some times I just wish I had ear plugs. Especially on the "clean your room" days... yikes you would think the world had just ended, and she was being enslaved by an evil mother.
Third I have learned that the best time to clean is after the girls are in bed. Even better if Ben is out of the house as well. I can clean in peace and not have any helpers "helping" or complaining. I can get things done just they way I want them. All the clutter put away, All the dirt cleaned up, maybe even dust. On an even better day the laundry might even get washed, dried and placed back in our closets.
The only problem with this is that the house is generally only clean while I'm sleeping. Some times I might even get to enjoy it for a whole half hr in the morning before everyone gets out of bed. Before the girls rummage through their closet for the perfect outfit (they probably find hidden at the bottom of the dirty clothes). They come down for breakfast and bring their toys with them in case they want to play or because well, "floppy just wanted to eat breakfast with me". Mercy age 1 gets up and starts exploring the best way she knows how, dumping and emptying just about everything. yep Best clean half hr of the day...
Lastly I'm learning I can either have a happy family or a clean house!! on the rare occasion I get both I know God must be behind it. Only a miracle can explain it.
Take for example:
I do take the time to clean the whole house, (HA!) everything is put away, dusted, swept, vacuumed, moped, scrubbed, washed, sparkling... In order to keep it that way I pretty much have to fend off my family from having any fun! No, you can't get a puzzle out I just put it away, stop making a PB&J sandwich I just wiped off the counter tops, please don't you dare take off those socks in this room I don't care if your feet are hot. What? you want to play with Legos??? NOOOOooooooo.............
you get the point.
On the other hand if I just give in to the fun and spend time with my kids playing games, doing puzzles, getting out the Legos, allowing them to paint, use markers (cringe)... Then we have a blast together! Dishes don't always get done, dusting for sure doesn't get done, and laundry piles up, but we have fun!
So one might think can't you have Both?? Just teach your kids to put things away when they are done using them, or clean as you go. Maybe you need more bins to organize their toys or a better chore chart, or maybe more division of labor between you and your spouse... yeah! I have read the articles, heard the "good stories", bought the bins, made the chore charts... We have even had a day or two where everything falls into place. A day where when we are finished with a puzzle and we still have time to put it away before we have to do... something... really you could insert just about anything here... SO it is possible I suppose, for a while... but I have not found it to last very long, and for some reason I keep on fighting.
I do find some joy in the fight though: take Maya for example!
I went on a 3-4 Day stand off for her to clean the playroom. I finally ended up standing over her as the enforcer mom almost pointing to each toy for her to pick up and put away.
During this she walked around slowly picking up one toy at a time holding a play phone between her shoulder and ear complaining about all the cleaning she has to do.
"yeah, my mom is making me clean up"
How do I not laugh? At one point (while picking up dress up clothes) she said "I can't clean I have to plan my wedding"
I love that girl! I sometimes think she wants to obey but her imagination gets in the way.
And on that note: I need to go clean my house... again... and then again...
"yeah, my mom is making me clean up"
How do I not laugh? At one point (while picking up dress up clothes) she said "I can't clean I have to plan my wedding"
I love that girl! I sometimes think she wants to obey but her imagination gets in the way.
And on that note: I need to go clean my house... again... and then again...
